It's been a grueling few days. Work, what with the constant morning rain and the incredible number of cicadas has been miserable and disgusting... Good thing I get a gigantamus advance on the first!!

Not much has been up other than that. I've been trying to get my shit together for the past few days so that moving out isn't a total nightmare. I've been working on the Green County script at least five hours a day. Ryan, Heather, Gene, et al are still all at Summer Camp, so it's been boring and quiet for the past few days. I see Dan periodically most days, and Chrissy I see for short times some days.

Jim's coming down to visit me in a few days. He's headed to Union Station right now to pick up tickets for the first train ride that costs $11. I'm so excited that he's coming back. My friends here are great, but everyone has their own interests and passions that seem very separate from mine right now -- Jim's passion, other than music, is me -- so I'll get to be all happy in my selfish little attention-whore way very soon.

I've been trying hard not to build up any unnecessary resentment since Chrissy got home. Apparently she had a bit of a row with Dan about him wanting to spend a lot of time on the film him and I are working on this summer... and yet, she hasn't made much of an attempt to spend time with me at all. In fact, she hasn't called me once since she got back. She has been very busy, of course, but it's a little disheartening that every minute I've spent with her so far has been at my request, not hers. Actually, she's seemed uselessly irritated -- not at me, per se, but, like, surrounding me, almost. Par examplay: her, Dan, and I were supposed to hang out one night. Dan said he would call me when he was finished having dinner with her (I didn't want to interrupt them while they were eating). I received a call at around 7:30 -- Hannah picked up the phone, but while she was attempting to hand it to me, she hit the power button. I asked her who it was and she said she didn't know, but offered that she thought it was a guy. Since Dan had left on the bus to get to Chrissy's by five, I figured they must be close to finished eating, and it was probably him, so I called his phone. When he picked up, it was obvious that he was still out at dinner with Chrissy, so I hastily explained my mistake and he was generally cool about it like always, and then, in the background, I hear Chrissy say: "Why is she calling? Didn't you say you were going to call her back?" -- As if the very thought of me was annoying to her at that moment or something. I probably shouldn't be blogging about it, as I haven't really addressed this with her, and it might end up seeming to me to be totally not worth it to. But that occurrence coupled with the fact that she's constantly complaining about what a drag it is to drive "all the way up to Normal" to get me just sort of rubbed me the wrong way for a minute. I mean, she lives on Chestnut -- that's barely in Bloomington! The drive takes seven minutes, tops. Also, she's been very derisive and condescending whenever Dan or I mention the film around her. Dan told her the other day that he had the perfect small part picked out for her, and her reply was: "Oh, you don't have to give me some dinky part in your little film." I'm hardly one to take myself too seriously these days, but I've been working on the script for this beast since January, and it's Dan's directorial debut in a feature-length project -- we've been working really hard on it, editing, coordinating auditions, et cetera. I hardly appreciate being belittled by someone who hasn't even expressed any interest in reading through it. Anyway, bleh, it's probably nothing, but I've just had a bad feeling about how things are going with her since she got back. Maybe I'm kind of tired of feeling like an eternally more ignorant and uninvited tag-along to a younger friend who seems to be under the impression that my life experience counts for little to nothing. Then again, I might be completely overreacting.

Maybe she doesn't even realize that these things are hurtful to me. In fact, she probably doesn't -- she's been so busy lately, I guess I can hardly expect her to meditate on every off-hand comment she makes to me. I did something stupid a few months back and begged Jim to try to make a good impression on her. I feel really bad for stressing that -- he didn't say anything, but I think I made him feel bad, like I'm embarrassed of him or something. And it's not that at all -- it's just that Chrissy's turned into an incredibly judgmental person -- someone who's nearly impossible to impress, for whatever reason. I can't think of one person or environment she's been introduced to through Dan or myself in the past year that she hasn't had some derisive and largely unfounded criticism of. Her and I haven't talked much about Jim, and I'm glad, because I don't want to think about or care what she thinks of him. Er, okay, enough about that. Seriously.

You've noticed the new layout? Sexy, nicht wahr? I've decided to stop catering to the lowest possible resolution, since most people have 1024 x 768 or higher these days anyway. Apologies if you have a crappy computer. I was totally rocking the spartan design for a long while, but I missed all my little linklets!

Labels: blogger, Chrissy, Dan, Green County, Jim

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