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I'm M*Sak: Friendly Neighborhood Pseudo-Drop-Out. My hometown is Blo/No, IL, and here I plan to stay until I can figure out a way to get the big, big money.
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This website and its written content are © M*Sak 2006-2007.
I'm M*Sak: Friendly Neighborhood Pseudo-Drop-Out. My hometown is Blo/No, IL, and here I plan to stay until I can figure out a way to get the big, big money.
ARCHIVES
BUDS
Megan - graduate / lit-nerd
Kiri - superfluous angst / subtle diatribe
Tim - politics / life experience (!)
Renata - published author / high school musical(?!)
Kellie - playwright / ye olde wisdom
Talia - japonica / clone material
PROCRASTURBATE
"I don't know what you did or didn't do, but if you did them both..."
Perez
Go Fug Yourself
Create A South Park Character
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
MY SPACEPLACEFACE BOOK
Myspace Page
GREEN COUNTY
This is a film I'm working on with my bud, Dan. If you're interested in being involved, please e-mail me.
NEWS:
Green County Official Facebook Group is online and awaiting the membership of actors, techies, and groupies!
COOL APPS
Get Firefox! (Please?) - hassle-free and app-friendly
Google Earth - high-res images of cities all over the world; monitor everything from world conflicts to seismic activity in real time!
Sage - an amazingly easy-to-use and reliable feed-reader for Firefox
Clipmarks - highlight, save, and document quotes from websites instantly
Facebook toolbar - Firefox toolbar for Facebook, for the addicts among us!
CONTACT
e.mail: just4playplay@gmail.com
phone: (XXX) 825-0352
FEED
XML H'OMGZ
STATS
CREDITS
This website and its written content are © M*Sak 2006-2007.
Date: 07/25/07
Watching: Rome
Mood: Flabbergasted
Watching: Rome
Mood: Flabbergasted
Well, I just came back from a "meeting" with my Dad (yes, I schedule meetings with him, usually following his new administrative duties for the day).
It was entirely surreal, and now I have a major decision to make within the next week.
Here's the deal: instead of what I was expecting (free-flowing rants about my irresponsibility fiscally, socially, and sexually), he was completely and utterly calm -- didn't raise his voice once, and he addressed me as if he actually has a modicum of respect for me.
He gave me a clearly outlined choice:
1) I will return to ISU this semester, raise my GPA from a failing 1.78 at least to the point where I can again qualify for financial aid. My rent, utilities, and food expenses will be completely covered by my dad, as well as my schooling costs.
2) I will drop out and continue to pay my own rent, my own utilities, and purchasing my own food. My dad will buy me private health coverage until such time as I can procure a comparable policy from a full-time employer.
...
...
Yeah, I know it seems like the choice should be completely clear. After all, as of my sophomore year in university, I still had a 3.8 GPA. It's not like I'm not capable of getting straight A's; I am.
But I feel completely disoriented by this turn of events -- if I were my kid, I wouldn't be giving me another chance. I've gotten failing grades for two semesters in a row. If I fuck up a third, my relationship with my dad is completely fucked, and I am fiscally fucked as well.
I think I've decided to go back to school, but I'm interested in any input on that decision anyone would be willing to offer. The past few years, the friends I've chosen are mostly 20-something drop-outs who are scraping a living for themselves; I feel guilty for my unique position in this matter, that the offer is even there.
3 commentations:
I have real sympathy for you, having totally fucked up college a long time ago. The thing is this: Of course he's giving you another chance, your his daughter and he loves you. But, are you afraid that if you fail again he will abandon you for real? Or did you expect/hope that would happen this time. The real question is are you failing to spite him? You are smart enough to get grades if that is something you care about. But is this really that old test, how much does he really love me? Does he love me even though I am a complete screwup? Ah ha! It's kind of a corner you are in with yourself. Your father is weirdly important to you in some clearly confusing (don't you love to say things like that?) way. What do you want? You have a decent boyfriend. In a few years your money situation will be profoundly effected by your college background. I know my money is crappy because I screwed off college. On the other hand, sometimes it is just not right spending time learning how to kiss professor butt to get over. It is something that is a useful skill, but if your mind is cooking on what it needs to cook it can truly interfere. I spent my twenties writing several novels and hundreds of poems and thousands of pages of letters. Was it worthwhile? I think so, but that is apparently really only my opinion. What a bind. But you know Marion that we love you, me and my dauughter Paige and my lovely wife, and we just hope you are happy and learning and becoming who are want to be. Tim
Invictus Maneo dude. It's not how many times you fall; it's how many times you pick yourself up. Whether you know it or not, the whole family is behind you, whatever you decide.
i think you should do the school thing, if only because you've already started, you've only got a couple of years left, and you can get a whole lot more places with a degree. i definitely get the situation with your dad, but i also know that you've talked about money here before and trust me, you can get a bigger paycheck if you have more education. even if (sadly) your degree is in something you can't really use practically in the real world (like creative writing: poetry? ;p ). anyway. do the school thing, graduate, take advantage of this kind offer your father has given you, and try not to think of the offer as a tool to put pressure on you, but rather as something to take pressure off. does that make sense, despite its grammatical confusion? anyhow. good luck, marion. xoxoxo
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