ABOUT
I'm M*Sak: Friendly Neighborhood Pseudo-Drop-Out. My hometown is Blo/No, IL, and here I plan to stay until I can figure out a way to get the big, big money.
ARCHIVES
BUDS
Megan - graduate / lit-nerd
Kiri - superfluous angst / subtle diatribe
Tim - politics / life experience (!)
Renata - published author / high school musical(?!)
Kellie - playwright / ye olde wisdom
Talia - japonica / clone material
PROCRASTURBATE
"I don't know what you did or didn't do, but if you did them both..."
Perez
Go Fug Yourself
Create A South Park Character
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
MY SPACEPLACEFACE BOOK
Myspace Page
GREEN COUNTY
This is a film I'm working on with my bud, Dan. If you're interested in being involved, please e-mail me.
NEWS:
Green County Official Facebook Group is online and awaiting the membership of actors, techies, and groupies!
COOL APPS
Get Firefox! (Please?) - hassle-free and app-friendly
Google Earth - high-res images of cities all over the world; monitor everything from world conflicts to seismic activity in real time!
Sage - an amazingly easy-to-use and reliable feed-reader for Firefox
Clipmarks - highlight, save, and document quotes from websites instantly
Facebook toolbar - Firefox toolbar for Facebook, for the addicts among us!
CONTACT
e.mail: just4playplay@gmail.com
phone: (XXX) 825-0352
FEED
XML H'OMGZ
STATS
CREDITS
This website and its written content are © M*Sak 2006-2007.
I'm M*Sak: Friendly Neighborhood Pseudo-Drop-Out. My hometown is Blo/No, IL, and here I plan to stay until I can figure out a way to get the big, big money.
ARCHIVES
BUDS
Megan - graduate / lit-nerd
Kiri - superfluous angst / subtle diatribe
Tim - politics / life experience (!)
Renata - published author / high school musical(?!)
Kellie - playwright / ye olde wisdom
Talia - japonica / clone material
PROCRASTURBATE
"I don't know what you did or didn't do, but if you did them both..."
Perez
Go Fug Yourself
Create A South Park Character
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
MY SPACEPLACEFACE BOOK
Myspace Page
GREEN COUNTY
This is a film I'm working on with my bud, Dan. If you're interested in being involved, please e-mail me.
NEWS:
Green County Official Facebook Group is online and awaiting the membership of actors, techies, and groupies!
COOL APPS
Get Firefox! (Please?) - hassle-free and app-friendly
Google Earth - high-res images of cities all over the world; monitor everything from world conflicts to seismic activity in real time!
Sage - an amazingly easy-to-use and reliable feed-reader for Firefox
Clipmarks - highlight, save, and document quotes from websites instantly
Facebook toolbar - Firefox toolbar for Facebook, for the addicts among us!
CONTACT
e.mail: just4playplay@gmail.com
phone: (XXX) 825-0352
FEED
XML H'OMGZ
STATS
CREDITS
This website and its written content are © M*Sak 2006-2007.
To Do:
+ type and print out Eugene Onegin excerpt
+ put Oral Interp binder together
+ practice Eugene Onegin
+ work on prose homework for Creative Writing
+ e-mail drama professor
+ work on CDs for Tim
+ do laundry
Got an e-mail from my dad yesterday. He's of the opinion (and I agree) that my credit card should be cancelled. Sometimes, though, I don't like the self-righteous way he interacts with me. Yes, I understand that he has 30+ more years of experience in the world than I do, but I don't think that necessarily gives him the right to constantly make me feel like I'm a dumbass. My VISA bills get mailed to his office, as do my bank statements. He opens them, reads them, and will then inform me that I have to come get them and pay for them. This system would work, in theory, if I wasn't so convinced at this point that he opens and reads my mail just so he can look for reasons to be disappointed in me. He accused me in his last e-mail of not paying my VISA bill at all, which is untrue -- of course I did. It was a little late, which is bad, but if he just would have called and asked, I could have told him that I have a copy of the check I wrote for that bill. What sucks is that he'll get it, read it, and then he'll tell me to come and get it, and then about 50 percent of the time when I go to retrieve things from him, he isn't in. I hate having to make appointments to retrieve my bills, quite frankly. On Monday, I'm cancelling my credit card and I'm also going to reroute my bank statements through the credit union to be delivered to my campus address. I've alerted my dad to both these developments, and he hasn't really seen fit to respond. I returned his first e-mail with a call to emphasize the fact that I do pay my bills; he could tell I was very upset, and he said: "Uh, well, I'm watching my nephew on the internet, so I can't talk right now."
Yeah, your kid is crying, and your nephew's hockey career is more important. Gee, thanks, Dad. Boy, do I feel great! Make me feel like even more of a failure, why don't you?
Ugh.
+ type and print out Eugene Onegin excerpt
+ put Oral Interp binder together
+ practice Eugene Onegin
+ work on prose homework for Creative Writing
+ e-mail drama professor
+ work on CDs for Tim
+ do laundry
Got an e-mail from my dad yesterday. He's of the opinion (and I agree) that my credit card should be cancelled. Sometimes, though, I don't like the self-righteous way he interacts with me. Yes, I understand that he has 30+ more years of experience in the world than I do, but I don't think that necessarily gives him the right to constantly make me feel like I'm a dumbass. My VISA bills get mailed to his office, as do my bank statements. He opens them, reads them, and will then inform me that I have to come get them and pay for them. This system would work, in theory, if I wasn't so convinced at this point that he opens and reads my mail just so he can look for reasons to be disappointed in me. He accused me in his last e-mail of not paying my VISA bill at all, which is untrue -- of course I did. It was a little late, which is bad, but if he just would have called and asked, I could have told him that I have a copy of the check I wrote for that bill. What sucks is that he'll get it, read it, and then he'll tell me to come and get it, and then about 50 percent of the time when I go to retrieve things from him, he isn't in. I hate having to make appointments to retrieve my bills, quite frankly. On Monday, I'm cancelling my credit card and I'm also going to reroute my bank statements through the credit union to be delivered to my campus address. I've alerted my dad to both these developments, and he hasn't really seen fit to respond. I returned his first e-mail with a call to emphasize the fact that I do pay my bills; he could tell I was very upset, and he said: "Uh, well, I'm watching my nephew on the internet, so I can't talk right now."
Yeah, your kid is crying, and your nephew's hockey career is more important. Gee, thanks, Dad. Boy, do I feel great! Make me feel like even more of a failure, why don't you?
Ugh.
1 commentations:
Don't let him make you feel that way. Part of this is you beating yourself up. But even if he is out to find things to criticize it doesn't meant you have to give them weight. Some people see the world in compare and contrast terms. Especially science guys: absence/presence. He probably on some level thinks he is helping to make you a better person by pointing out things to be overcome.
As a father myself I think that when he blew you off for something else that that was more a way of avoiding his own feelings (of guilt and maybe I went too far). Men don't like to deal with feelings, their own and the women they are connected to. He would probably be upset if he knew how much it hurt you, but he might just deny it all. But I think this is more heavy avoidance than anything else.
And to be a father, don't be late on your payments. That is what they write down on your credit record. Been there, done that. Pay them on time and try and pay a few dollars more than the minimum: shows your good faith you know.
Things will get better. Many people love you. You are a remarkable and unique person. Don't let yourself beat up on yourself.
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