The days are getting so crazy!

Last night, I saw both Alyssa and Paige for the first time in weeks. Unfortunately, I had a lot of homework today, and a class at four, so I couldn't see Paige again before she left for her dad's... but I will see her in Chicago very soon, hopefully.

Vtalik also got back from Florida last night. He met Alyssa, myself, Teryn, and Zhora at TC Buzz, and then we went back to my dorm room for some silliness. We ended up getting so bored that Teryn and I exchanged clothes with Zhora and Vtalik and took Polaroids to document the awesomeness... It was so fun!

But then I got a frantic call from Chrissy this morning, who was very angry that Teryn and I "got naked" around her boyfriend -- which was actually not really the truth at all. We were just bored and had some silly fun (undies were kept on, and I actually hid in the closet while I changed -- I was the most modest one of the bunch, including Vtalik!). She went so far as to suggest that, since things didn't work out between me and Zhora romantically, that I wanted to flirt with Vtalik to get back at him and also that I am jealous of Chrissy's relationship with Vtalik. It upset me a lot; I cried for a long time, but I feel a little better now. It would be different if I thought I had done anything wrong at all, but I view Vtalik as more of an odd and funny Russian older brother than anything else -- I have no romantic interest in him at all, and things are smoothing out with Zhora at this point, so I am content just to be his friend. He seems a lot happier that way, anyway!

It's very strange for me to be confronted with accusations that have no real grounds in reality from someone that I spent an entire summer with. Of course, I was around Chrissy when I felt betrayed and angry at Zhora, but taking bits of conversation out of context and applying them to whatever fledgling friendship I might have with Vtalik is disturbing to me. Vtalik told her about our adventures because he thought she would laugh and appreciate the fact that he enjoys the company of her friends in her absence... I worry that perhaps Chrissy is too focused on the romantic ideal of mutual misery at a parting. It isn't that Vtalik isn't sad that she isn't here; I think he just wants to be nice and let his friends and hers cheer him up in her absence.

She seemed much more upset that Vtalik might be annoyed at her possessiveness than the fact that she upset me to the point of tears, although she did assure me that she would rather remain friends with me than date Vtalik (I'm not sure how much weight that statement holds at the moment).

Anyway, I'll try to have a good time tonight and I'll also try to be more careful around Vtalik for Chrissy. It'll make me feel super awkward, but I'd rather have Vtalik be ill-at-ease with me than have Chrissy shouting at me from KC because she thinks I've turned into an amoral slutbag.

Her anger was just so misdirected and irrational -- it seemed like she was just seeking to press button after button to make me feel like the worst friend ever so that she could justify her jealousy. If anyone knows exactly what buttons to push with me, it's Chrissy -- I'm just so disappointed that she would choose to confront me about something that obviously has roots in her own insecurity. Of the two of us, I am the one who has never entertained thoughts of infidelity within my own relationships, let alone plots to disrupt other people's romantic bliss.

Oh well. I guess I just have to be very careful from now on not to make her mad; I hate feeling sad and guilty all the time.

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