Little shit! I went out to Ride the Nine last night with Chrissy, Vtalik, and Zhora; I had an okay time, but was completely ignored by the last party, which upset me immensely later on. I slammed the door of his BMW, in fact; I think it's the biggest show of annoyance (it couldn't really be called anger) that he's ever seen from me.

I came upstairs and raged and cried to Teryn for a little while, and then I raged and cried to Chrissy, who then raged and cried to Vtalik because she was worried about me. She actually bitched Zhora out right after I got out of the car; I kind of wish she wouldn't have -- Zhora probably thinks that I put her up to it, since I'm too much of a wimp to confront him with my annoyance.

I was so angry last night; more angry than I've been since my epic break-up with Kiri! I said the worst things I could think of about him -- that he is a wash-up, pathetic, childish; that of course I've done nothing wrong by just being nice. He's the screw-ball, and it wouldn't matter the circumstances; any other girl unfortunate enough to be chosen for his First American Fling (TM) would have suffered the same way. I thought about the fact that he is manic-depressive in his attitude toward me and treatment of me; he's never consistent, and he's always contradicting himself, and, I think, lying.

Chrissy told Zhora that he has managed to screw over the best person who has ever happened to him. I don't know if I would agree with that, but I was pretty damn nice to Little Dude. Today, in Human Sexuality class, the professor was talking about physical intimacy as a very 'tip-of-the-iceberg' kind of deal. He contends that people who discard other aspects of sexuality probably have serious mental and emotional problems. I also read a very cool sign about commitment today; that it is basically this that makes the world go around; it isn't how much you give of yourself, but how much you enjoy giving. Zhora, I think, does not understand any of these concepts; he has dealt with me like a four-year-old deals with a new toy: Once the immediate gratification of achieving something is over, it becomes just another wasted piece of junk. I've been had and used, and it is seriously rubbing my rhubarb.

Also, he is very ethnocentric in his sexuality. No girl here will ever be good enough for him, unless they are Latvian and just as close-minded as he is. And, then, I think, that still won't make for a very happy situation.

SO PISSED.

And course, he is a little chicken; he won't call, and therefore, I hope I never have to see his smug little face again. I hope he is satisfied with himself. Jerk.

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